The Chorus presents the idea of the Expanded Self, in which aspects are not fundamentally right or wrong, but can be viewed from various perspectives, including a loving one. After a multi-week and enlightening hiatus, Katie connects this idea to the expansive that is possible in every emotion and every facet of who we are - today - including, even, the parts of us which bring us shame.
Welcome back, everybody.
For those of you who have actually been following along with me as I’ve produced this podcast, you know that there’s been a bit of a hiatus between last episode and this one. A lot has been happening. And by a lot, I mean, I have been learning an incredible number of things. It’s funny how when something goes wrong, you suddenly realize all the ideas you had about what it meant to go right. Needless to say, a lot went wrong over the last few weeks. And those stories will be coming soon.
But today, I’d like to start off by talking about something that’s a little controversial right now, as I record this, which is whether or not to get a COVID vaccine. Now, for those of you who are listening to this podcast, who have been drawn to it, I understand that a lot of you are probably like me, which means you’ve experienced things that are a little outside the norm at some point in your life. You are asking deeper questions or wondering about things that are kind of beyond just day-to-day life. And so when you see our world and our communities, succumb to something that affects us all, it grabs your attention. There may also be a number of ideas that you have come into contact with about whether or not the vaccine is safe. Who’s really behind it. What’s happening. All sorts of questions that others who are squarely, firmly in a different state of mind might not even think to question.
I’m like this, too. When I looked at the vaccine, and when I looked at the pandemic, and I saw also a lot of what people would call fringe theories, I thought to myself, but those don’t seem that fringe to me. I’ve lived some incredible things that most people aren’t yet ready to believe or hear about. And nor do they need to, if it’s not yet on their path.
So I kind of got to a point where I said, “okay, well, I’ve learned enough from the course just know that when it feels inspired, then that’s good enough for me. When I feel that urge to get in the car, and drive down and actually get the poke in my arm, then that’s it. That’s the right time for me.”
Well, weeks passed, months passed. And I did not feel that urge. And so I began to wonder if perhaps I was sensing that some of those larger risks were true for me. I didn’t quite understand why I felt the way that I did, particularly when I live in a community where I am unusual. Everyone around me, all of our family friends, all the people that my son plays with, have all been vaccinated at this point.
I have listened to the message that you’re about to hear from The Chorus, almost a dozen times now, as the past four weeks have happened. And I have tried over and over again to get back to finishing this episode. And just now I listened to it one more time. And I heard at the tail end of the message a meaning that I had not previously heard in it when I had listened to it before. This gave me a new perspective.
I think we have an idea of inspiration and following that inspiration. And so oftentimes we scrutinize whether or not something is inspired or is it not inspired as sort of a proxy for safe action. If I follow my inspiration, then I believe I will be safe. And that is a valid perspective.
But today in their message, I heard something new. I heard an expanded version of this idea, a sort of new take on their whole message of “you cannot mess it up.” That every time you shoot for the basket and miss, it falls in a basket you didn’t even know was there. That you are already on your path of expansion. And the road is very, very, very wide, enough to encompass every single five senses manifestation that you could possibly choose here.
I feel a new freedom of choice in this action than I did before. I know what I want to do. And I think you will, too.
In the first part of the episode, you’ll hear directly from The Chorus themselves, and then afterwards we will discuss. That is, if you want to listen to this right now. Because the love and the clarity that you are seeking in these messages, even when you can’t listen to these messages, will find its way to you. Enjoy.
[Starts at 7:00]
To be human is a great achievement.
We know that you may not think so at times, but we do. What you chose to resonate with in coming here is at the cutting edge, so to speak, of Creation.
From our vantage point the leading edge of Creation is the culmination of all difference and all variety and all life that has ever been an ever will be created. It is contrast. It is uniqueness. It is flowing.
Thus, from our vantage point, here in free flowing energy, where all things are answered instantly, your ability to hold the infinite at a distance, to disallow your perception of all that you are and all that you are summoning, is a colossal undertaking and an extraordinary achievement.
It may sound funny to you that we use these words, these words that allude to “efforting” as a human would put it. These words that refer to completing something, doing something, when we have spoken so much to you about how things in flow arrive without effort.
Beloved Ones, we have noticed that from the human perspective, when we talk about effortlessness and needing to do that a human will often sense within themselves a diminished desire to do as though the conversation about ease and effortlessness, rather than talking about how exhilaratingly, unflinchingly, perfectly, you can choose to do anything and achieve your desires, turns into a sort of, “well, then I shall sit here and do nothing, so that it is easy.”
Do you see Beloved Ones, how this is another aspect of your limiting beliefs, taking from us our perspective of things that are flowing and turning it into diminished desires?
And you might say, “is this all futile, then? Will my limiting beliefs forever apply limitation to everything that I experience here?” And we would suggest that that is not so.
The experience of awakening is becoming conscious of these limiting beliefs and how they function. It is not an endless road, not by far. And moreover, through the experience of moving through these beliefs consciously, you awaken to more of what you are, by the power of the contrast that you are resonant with. You discover more of the unique being that you are.
We understand now that from the human perspective as you awaken to more and different limiting beliefs, the part of you that is still rooted in that limitation, will tell you that this limitation is the same, perhaps, as all limitations that you have experienced before. That you have not yet defeated it or moved beyond it. The limiting part of you will also tell you that this may not ever end. In that way, it is resonating with limiting beliefs about being stuck, which is completely a human belief.
From our vantage point, Beloved Ones, you have already progressed very far indeed. For you to be able to perceive us and this perspective is already an indication of how far off of these frequencies you have already lifted. From our vantage point, all actions that you choose, all words that you feel inspired to say, will in some part, reflect the expanded frequencies that you have reached.
When you are angry, when you are sad, when you are frustrated, when you are still moving through the awakening process of all of these different varieties and flavors of disallowance that you came here to experience, there is still a part of you that is expanded through those experiences. And thus, whatever judgments you may hold about yourself as you move through these emotions and these sensations, understand that that only covers part of what you are.
The greater, more expanded part of you can communicate love and clarity through any emotion that you feel, that you resonate with, while here in the experience of limitation.
Beloved Ones, there is no stuck.
Most especially when your mind and judgments are telling you that you are.
For in that instance, the beliefs of limitation are activated in such a way as to balance the incoming energy, or said another way, the expanded energy that you have expanded outward to reach.
The balance is not insurmountable. The balance is not stuck. The balance is simply leaving the game intact and continuing to fill out the paths in front of you with more and more equally valid options from which you may choose.
You are awakening to your power of choice, of true choice.
Not just between five senses manifestations, but energy and frequencies and ways that you are expanding, ways that you are becoming aware of your own consciousness and how you chose this path. And how you create.
When you wake up in the morning, and you say to yourself, “today, this day, I would like to flow with all that I am. I would like things to be effortless and joyful.” Then we would say to you then so it shall be. For anything and everything that you choose to do is on your path of greatest expansion.
Beloved Ones, you are flying. And now you are awakening to the heights you can reach.
We love you infinitely. And we are beside you always.
[Starts at 16:43]
I originally recorded that message from The Chorus some number of weeks ago now. And since that time, I have attempted to record a podcast to go with this friggin message eight or nine different times. I mean, it feels like it could be even more. And today I sat down again, to try it again, and I went back to my notes, because sometimes it helps me process when I see what they said in writing. So usually when I start making notes about an episode, I throw in sort of a placeholder title, until I come around to what the actual title is. It’s usually like one word, like “depression” or “love” or, you know, whatever it is. And so I went back to my notes today and as I scrolling through them, I scrolled up to the point where I had thrown in sort of that placeholder title. And the word was “stuck.”
And (laughs) yep, I mean, I laughed out loud. Ten attempts ago, on the very first try, I put a placeholder title in that said “stuck,” and then have spent the last three weeks or more recording and re-recording something to go with this message.
You know, each time I tried to record it, it’s not like there was anything wrong with those episodes, but it felt a little bit like it had before in other episodes where I can just tell that I haven’t quite grasped it. I haven’t quite hit that frequency. You know, at times, I think I’m being too harsh on myself. And I’m judging what I made too closely. That if I could be a little more general about the message itself and less scrutinizing of the way that I said the message that I should be okay with all the episodes I record,
Now I’m going to ask you a question. What would likely your advice to me be? Would you say, “Katie, I really think you should just record episodes, not really edit them and think about them, and just get them out there. Just get the message out there.” Or would you say something else?
Today, The Chorus started out the message with a very interesting point, which was they said, we noticed you’ve done a thing. We gave you a sort of expanded explanation of ease and effortlessness. And we have watched as you all have integrated that message into your current standpoint, your current perspective, which remember, currently, we are half in the game, half not in the game. And they said “you’ve limited it in a very interesting way.” We told you that ease and effortlessness means that you can do anything and everything that you want, and it will somehow bring about your desires. And you all heard that and said to yourselves, “ease and effortlessness that sounds great! I’m just gonna do a lot less.”
From their standpoint, that is almost the opposite of what they said (laughs).
But if you ask any human today, if you find someone who has a giant To Do List, let’s say, and you said to them, how could you make that more easy and more effortless? They would likely tell you one of two options: that I can either cross off half the things on this list, and just accept that they won’t get done. Or I can pay somebody else or ask somebody else for help, and they can do some of the things on this list. And both of those options would make this easier.
And most of us would say, “yeah, that sounds easier!”
And The Chorus is saying, “that’s not our definition of ease (chuckles).”
As usual, from a five senses perspective, we have looked at the five senses part of the equation alone. When The Chorus talked about ease, and effortlessness understand that they naturally look at that in the context of our desires, which is the kickoff point, which is the start of the entire process, the entire creation of the idea of things that need to be done.
You didn’t know those things needed to be done until they seemed like they stood between you and the thing that you want.
So let’s pretend that you want to plan a really amazing celebration for someone who’s graduating or a birthday or something like that. And you make your to do list for the party. Now, the human in us jumps right to that in terms of ease and effortlessness. We sort of just like skip right over the fact that what we want is an amazing party. And so when The Chorus says it can be easy, we look at the five senses manifestations, meaning the to do list, and we say, “oh good, I don’t have to do all of this.”
And they’re saying, “no, it just means like, that amazing party that you had an initial desire for is inevitable.”
But again, here’s the thing. So if we’re backing up the trail even more, let’s start with the desire. When the desire comes through, it is often by the time we consciously sense it, accompanied by a manifestation, which is a thought. One of the first manifestations that we resonate with is thinking. And so you have this fantastic desire, perhaps simply for community, celebration, a good time. And you first become conscious of this as the image of a party comes into your mind. And you say, “a party like that? Yes!”
And before you know it, you are constructing all sorts of details, that is all sorts of additional manifestations in your mind, which lay out how the party will happen. What kind of food would be the best. Wouldn’t it be awesome if all those people could be there. And, as is our capacity for limitation, all of those things begin to translate into an identification that those things do not yet exist on our frequencies – the party hasn’t happened yet, obviously – and then very naturally begins to activate our beliefs about needing to do something in the five senses world to bring that thing about.
Meaning, here comes the to do list.
So now, if you look back at our earlier example of we look at the to do list, and we’re like, “oh, thank god make this easier. I’m so exhausted. I’ve barely gotten through cleaning the house, let alone decorating it and everyone’s going to be here in a few days.” Right? That’s where our effortlessness and ease kicks in. Because we are five senses focused. That we’re not even aware of consciously most of the time, all the things that have happened before that.
So The Chorus comes in from their larger perspective and they said, “oh, that thing you want? That’s coming! Ta da! It’s that easy.”
And then they watch as we all translate that into what they call diminished desires. Meaning all of us hear their message, and we’re so focused on the five senses things that have to happen, or that we have to do, we have to go to an extra job to make that money or, you know, all these sorts of obligations or work manifestations that we have assigned ourselves to, in order to create the lives that we want. And rather than seeing it as a permission slip to do anything and everything that we want all of the time, and still achieve those ends – meaning invincibility, meaning infallibility, meaning that full of life vigor where you could literally run out your door every morning, and move from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing to thing, however you want, however, you’re inspired to do it completely free of responsibility and obligation. Completely in flow. And those things would be achieved.
And instead, our sense of relief translates into less. I should be doing less. This should be easier. I’m going to sit on the couch, and just, yeah….This should be easier. I’m just gonna rest for a second. And then you get an inspiration to get up and do something. And then some point into that doing something, you recall what The Chorus has said about it should be easier. And you say, “you’re right, this should be easier. I just, I shouldn’t have to do all of this.” Instead of recalling their message in the middle of that endeavor, and being like, “ha! It really doesn’t matter how I do this, I can just do this however I want. There are no external judgments, there are no external criteria. There’s nothing I have to meet, there is no right or wrong way to do this!”
The idea of one path, the idea of one way, the idea of a best way to do anything, is the illusion.
From the perspective of The Chorus, there is literally an infinite number of ways to do a thing perfectly.
So I want to bring up mental projection for a second. Actually, it’s only like the 10th time I brought up mental projection (laughs) in all the times I’ve tried to record and then rerecord this episode. So who knows? Maybe this is it. Maybe this is the one you guys!
So in previous episodes, we began to touch on the topic of mental projection. In one of the episodes, we talked about it in terms of linear timelines, and how when we are affected by a desire or something like that, or the sense of a responsibility, really anything in our five senses environment, that we are automatically responding to through our belief systems. We begin to…I said in that episode believe…pile up manifestations. The example was that you have a really big meeting next week. And as soon as that gets assigned, as soon as that gets scheduled, as soon as there’s something ahead of you on your timeline, you begin to create piles of mental manifestations about how that future point in time should look.
Now, what we didn’t get into in great depth, is how humans use that sort of mental projection, that forward projection, in lots of subconscious ways that we’re still only awakening to now.
Unbeknownst to us consciously, most of the time, there is a constructed mental projection of more than just what will happen at a future point in time. We create mental projections of our own identities. We create mental projections of our own stories of who we are. We create mental projections of the ways things should be going. The ways cars should drive, the way leafs should fall to the ground, the way nature should behave…And as part of awakening, what is happening is that we are gradually becoming aware of these mental projections.
One of the top ways that we become aware of the existence of a mental projection that we didn’t know was there is through the feeling of being stuck. Let me explain.
One of the most obvious examples of this to us today, we experience when we go through something that we call disease, an illness. Now, illness and disease are powerful engines of awakening. So they deserve multiple episodes in and of themselves. And we will get there, we will move through it. But today, I want to talk about one aspect of disease, which is this sort of nudging us in the direction of understanding our own mental projections, our own subconscious structures of expectation is one way to describe those.
One of the things you will notice about the experience of disease and illness, if you have ever undergone it, or if you’ve ever supported someone through it, is, at some point early in the process, the person will be very angry will be very frustrated. This frustration, we have often chalked up to sort of the phases of acceptance. And anger is usually you know, one of those early phases of acceptance. It’s interesting to me that we put anger as something to pass through on our way to acceptance, as if acceptance is the ultimate goal here. We need to be okay with this, we need to integrate this to our lives. And that anger is sort of like this bump in the road that just shows us that we haven’t integrated it yet.
From a certain vantage point, yes, that makes sense. If your objective as a five senses human is to sort of become less emotional, or I’ll be more specific, less negative emotional, then sure, I could see how anger is just a step on the way to something else.
But let’s pretend for a second that anger is actually the goal destination.
Let’s pretend that there’s something so incredibly valuable in anger, that we, on our path to expansion, manifest a series of events if we’re using a linear timeline, or that we manifest a very powerful moment, if we’re not using a linear timeline, in which we perceive something greater than our limited belief systems, which draws our attention to the limitations themselves and assists us in our awakening.
So now, if we look at anger as the goal destination, from that vantage point, you might get curious about, well, what is appearing in that moment? What am I learning about myself in that experience of anger that happens UNIQUELY in the sense of anger?
According to The Chorus, it’s that more expanded part of you. But as a human, we would often experience this or describe this more closely as deeply held, unconscious desires.
Now, we can all think of times that we got pissed about something that we wanted not happening, right? Causes anger, doesn’t it? Imagine that you really expected that something was going to arrive one day that, you know, you were going to get somewhere on time that something was going to work out…And then it doesn’t. And you had your expectations really high on that thing, and it doesn’t work out. Okay. That’s a very quality example of you had a desire, you had a thing that you wanted, and you thought it was going to go in the way that you had mentally projected that desire to go, and then it doesn’t. And you feel anger. Because you look at the way that it did manifest and it’s so different than what you felt like you were going to experience that in that moment you get pissed off.
Now let’s take that example and look at it from an energetic standpoint. You have a mental projection of a desire. That desire originally came through as a sense of a feeling very rapidly turned into a concrete idea of what it would be. And that desire is still coming in, it’s still unfolding. Nevertheless, because we’re five senses humans, you move forward with the mental projection and begin looking for a match in the five senses.
When you come to a juncture, in which you thought that desire should manifest, and you perceive on five senses what you believe is not a match, you activate beliefs on the five senses, that you were wrong, that this isn’t it, that you missed the chance, that it’s not going to happen now. All of these limiting beliefs sort of spring up the way they’ve done for a very long time, giving us a perfect experience of limitation. And you sense a friction between the desire that you still know is alive and well and should still be there, you still feel it, you still feel something. And then sort of this clash between your mental projection, the juncture where you thought it should appear, and all the limiting beliefs that are like, “nope, didn’t appear. You lose. Game over. It’s not going to happen now. You’re screwed.” And you feel anger.
In that moment, for a lot of humans up until recently, we have been completely consumed in the anger itself, and have built judgments around not allowing that emotion to come through. Because we view that emotion as being very destructive. And since we’re very preoccupied with what happens on the five senses, since we feel like everything is so finite and insufficient, it’s a really big deal if you break shit when you’re angry, because that shit can’t be repaired. It’s a really big deal if you hurt others with your anger because we believe in damage, we believe in hurt, we believe in being wronged by another.
And so you activate sort of in the experience of anger, all of these limitations, all of these limiting beliefs that we have about anger. And so not only are you pissed that this thing that you knew that you wanted, and you had this mental projection for didn’t happen. But also you begin to activate judgments about yourself and your own anger. So you start to feel bad on top of everything else, that you’re so angry, and that you should get control of yourself and that you should stop being angry and you should tone it down, which often only makes us more angry.
Because again, you are experiencing, some part of you is experiencing, an expanded version of self in which all things are allowed. All things are worthy of love. All things hold expansiveness.
And the activation of beliefs that tell you the opposite, which is you are wrong. You are in error, you should be ashamed of your behavior.
Okay, so who do we blame in this scenario? Like, who’s to blame here?
What’s not working right? Is something that we might say.
Is it that really it’s the problem with the mental projection? That we should not get so attached to the ideas that we have that represent, that reflect, an initial energetic signature of a pure and beautiful desire? Is that the problem?
Or is it the problem about all the limiting beliefs that sprang up and say, you can’t be angry. And also, the thing that you want is not possible right now, or ever.
What if I suggested there’s nothing wrong in that whole setup.
What if I suggested that anger is perhaps one of the most incredible forces of awakening?
You would not be wrong to wonder then if humanity, as we go through awakening, is just gonna get really pissed off and destroy a bunch of shit. You might wonder if we’re destined for all sorts of protests and burning buildings and fistfights and things like that. And I understand that perspective.
But understand that awakening is also always a quieter story.
Awakening is happening right now in people all over the world. And it doesn’t make headlines.
Is that to say that people protesting or not also awakening? No, not at all.
You know…The “infinite” – general statements don’t often work here.
But it is to say that there are people all over the world who are quietly going through an experience of coming to terms with episodes of anger that continue to plague them, for which they cannot find due cause. Sure, maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they’re super frustrated with their partner or their family or their job. And yet, the experiences of anger that they are going through seems to come over them out of the blue, seems to be bigger or felt more deeply than the challenges of the five senses would seem to explain.
And so we might sit back and say, “well, we got to fix this. We got to solve this. We either got to find a way to release our mental projections, or we got to find a way to release all these beliefs of limitation.”
So it’s at this point in the episode that I would like to point out something incredible that The Chorus said today. They said, “from our vantage point, all actions that you choose, all words that you feel inspired to say, will in some part, reflect the expanded frequencies that you have reached.”
Do you think they meant anger?
We choose actions when we’re angry. We are inspired to say some words when we are angry (chuckles). Is it possible that in some part, even when you’re angry, there is a reflection of the expanded frequencies that you have reached?
Perhaps anger and many other negative emotions are viewed by us in the same way that we can choose to view the expansive definition of ease and effortlessness that The Chorus gave us.
We can choose to view it from a perspective of limitation in which we judge it to be deficient, or we decide that that means there can be less of that. If anger requires an expansive human to realize what they want, but then their attention is being turned to or called to the limiting beliefs that they hold, we might say, “well, we need less of those limiting beliefs.” (Chuckles) More expansion, please.
But what if I told you that the last time you got angry, or the next time you’re about to, you are totally and completely right.
You are right about what you’re getting angry about. Everything you feel is valid. And you are going to make, and have made, very important points that other people will benefit by hearing.
Does anger feel as shameful, do you regret as much what you said, if you knew that every time you experience anger, some sort of immensely powerful clarity is coming through you, would you hold it in?
What is the aspect of anger that makes it so reprehensible?
Like we’ve already mentioned, humans tend to destroy things and hurt things around them when they’re angry. Or is that just a perspective?
From the viewpoint of The Chorus, where they view all emotions across our spectrum as infinitely perfect and worthy of love, they are in perspective, and in a vantage point where then they receive love, they experience love and perfection, through everything that they experience.
So let’s pretend. Let’s pretend that the next time you get angry, super angry, super pissed off, a member of The Chorus is standing in front of you instead. And let’s say you say some really awful things to The Chorus. Do you think The Chorus would be hurt by your words? Or would they instead see more of the being that you are, the experience of limitation that you chose, the history, the incredible uniqueness that you represent, the beauty of Creation and how powerful it is? They tend to see that in everything. Is that because of The Chorus alone? Or is that because also of a part of you?
So now I’ll ask a different question. How would you stand in front of The Chorus and be angry, if you and The Chorus or on vastly different frequencies?
There is some part of you that has expanded to this moment, to these podcasts, to these messages from The Chorus, to this point in your life, where you are even drawn to listen to these things. There is a part of you that is on their frequencies. There is a part of you that you are becoming conscious of that views everything through the lens of love…just. Like. Them.
And as you’re an expanded consciousness, there is also a part of you that is still alive and active in the game. And as you awaken to the game, and to that part of you, you feel a friction. And the friction is not a failing. And it’s not a mistake. It’s a loudspeaker. It’s all of your limiting beliefs, taking turns at the microphone and saying, “here I am! Look at me! You don’t have to believe in me anymore. You did not just miss the perfect time. You did not just lose the opportunity for your desire. You did not do something wrong. I’m just a belief. I’m a belief that you held. And I’m a belief that you created. And I’m a belief that gave you the experience of something amazing for a really long time.”
I’m going to make a suggestion. And as we go through future episodes, we might color in this suggestion with more details or examples and things like that. But you know, I think this suggestion will work for today…which is that there is not a single emotion that you could feel that is not serving you in some way. That is not assisting you in your awakening.
There is nothing for us to overcome or to defeat or to never feel that way again, because there is no stuck. We are expanding effortlessly. All the time. When you’re thinking and when you’re making mental projections you are awakening to your power to do so.
When you get angry, you are giving yourself an incredible experience of clarity and understanding your deeply held desires as well as all of the limiting beliefs that held you away from the manifestations of those things.
When you feel depression, it is assisting you in understanding vibrational eddies and your ability to choose to focus on one side or the other, to understand the sensations of balance and to understand the sensations of making choices, and trusting in yourself.
And grief…Grief is a precious thing. And grief is serving you in understanding and awakening to all the belief systems that you are releasing. And it assists you very gently and very lovingly in allowing in new and expanded definitions of who you are and the life that you live.
And if you are sick, or have been sick, and if you feel like those symptoms have been the same for forever. And they’re not changing and they’re not improving. And you don’t see a sign of anything going anywhere in a direction that you like, and you feel angry. That is a loudspeaker. Calling out to you that there is no such thing as stuck.
Every present moment is a new moment.
All right, we’ve covered a lot of ground. I think we should bring it home with role playing (chuckles).
Who wants to go first? You want to go first or you want me to go first? Okay, fine. I’ll be me, you be you, planning the party.
And you say to me, “Katie, I’ve got a lot on my to do list for the party, and I want it to be easy.”
And what should my advice be to you?
I’ll give you two flavors of advice. And you decide which one feels better. Cuz that’s all this is, becoming aware of our own preferences and desires and the infinite beings that we each are. Okay, ready?
Advice number one: “Oh, man, it sounds like you’ve really taken on more than you need to. I don’t think the party’s that big of a deal? I think, I don’t know, just order catering. You don’t have to put up that many decorations. And I maybe I can help you. I’ll come over early before the party.”
Okay, advice number one. Now advice number two: “It sounds like you really want this party. That’s awesome. It’s such an incredible thing. You know, I think your intuition was right about scheduling this party. And I bet you could do any of the things on the list or none of the things on the list and it’s still going to be awesome. So I would say, do what you want on the list and then enjoy an awesome party.”
Alright, want to do it again? How about I’ll be the one I’ll be role playing this time. Okay. So I am super pissed about something and I tell you all about it. I give you all the bloody details. I tell you who started what and who said what and how that went. All right, first piece of advice. What would you tell me?
Maybe something along the lines of, “it sounds like both sides are right. And maybe you shouldn’t have said those things. And you should apologize. And then I bet they’ll apologize. And then you’ll sort of all figure it out.”
That’s not advice. It’s pretty good. All right. Give me an option number two: “Katie, I really think you’re onto something.”
I would say, “what do you mean?”
You would say, “I don’t know. I can’t tell but I think you’re right. I think you’re right to be upset. And I think…I don’t know…maybe you’re realizing more about what you want. That maybe you don’t want to be in this situation anymore. Maybe you want to move on. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself for a really long time, all sorts of reasons why you can’t move on and why you have to stay in this situation. And I don’t know, maybe those things aren’t true. Maybe pay attention to the anger. I think it’s telling you something important about…about you.”
Alright, should we do another one? All right. I’ll go this time. You be sick, all right? You have had some sort of chronic disease. So you say, “Katie, I have been sick forever. I have tried to really be present with it. And, you know, really be okay with being sick. And really try and see what it’s teaching me. But I’m over it. I don’t want to be sick anymore.”
Alright, ready? Advice, number one: “thank you for sharing that with me. I know how hard it can be to have a mysterious chronic disease. And I see how hard this has been for you. I see you. And all the ways that you’ve tried. I think that I do see it changing. I don’t know when. But it will. And I think you could keep going, and you will, but also maybe be kind to yourself today.” All right, that feels one way.
How about advice number two. You ready? “Thank you for sharing that with me. I think you have a right to be frustrated. Who wouldn’t go through what you have been through and not be completely frustrated. I think you’d be crazy not to be. I see you. I see you and I see everything you’ve done to try to learn from this, allow this, roll with this. And it’s hard. But from my standpoint, I do see changes. Do you know you teach me stuff even when you’re sick? That having been able to be with you through this process, I’ve learned a lot. And it’s not to say that I would ever ask or wish this on anyone but I don’t think I’ve ever been clear about how much you still impact everyone around you. Even from a hospital bed. I think today is different. I think tomorrow will be too. And if there is beauty in this to be found somehow, if it’s possible to find beauty in the fuck show that it is a chronic disease, I promise you, we will find it. And until then, I’m here. I’m here for every single emotion you feel along the way. I love you infinitely.”
Feel difference? Okay. Last one. I started the episode by asking what advice would you give to me about recording and re-recording and re-recording podcast episodes (chuckles)? Is it perfectionism? Should I just be more allowing of the message?
Alright, so go for it. Advice number one. What would you tell me?
“Katie, I’m a big fan of your podcast. Every time I listen to it, I learned something new. I feel so much love for The Chorus. I feel like…I feel like you guys should just talk and send it out. I really don’t think there’s anything for you to judge. They talk about allowing. You should allow the messages. You should record and you know, maybe spruce it up a little bit, I guess if you want, but really, I think you should just let it out and be yourself.”
All right. Feel that? Feels one way doesn’t it? Okay. And here’s another way: “I don’t know, Katie, I think, well, I think you know, a lot. I think you’ve lived a lot. And I think if there were something evidently obvious about this, that that you should just like, let it go. You probably recognize that by now, because you’ve had to let go of a lot to get to this point. So I think you’re right.”
And I might say, “I’m right about what?”
And you might say, “I think that however you feel about the podcast is right. That if you feel like it’s incomplete, then for you it is. There’s something in those multiple edits. I don’t think you’re stuck on one episode, I think you’re learning a lot about something important about you or about these topics by recording and re-recording. And so I don’t see a loss in that. Eventually, they get published, eventually, they help a lot of people. But more importantly, I feel like every time you’ve told me about an episode that you struggled with, something really valuable has come out of that. So I don’t think you’re overly judging. I think it’s something else.”
And I might think about that for a second. And go, “hm. You know, what I just realized? I had a mental projection of what a good podcaster looks like. I had made some sort of subconscious obligation to doing this on a regular basis. I…wow. Yeah, I had really already formed a lot of judgments about how this process should go. And it was getting harder and harder to follow my inspiration already. I’ve only been doing this for a couple months. And it was inspired when I first sat down to do it. And now just a few months into it, there’s already all of these beliefs about how it should go! I haven’t been stuck. I’ve been practically looking head on at all of these beliefs, or judgments or mental projections, whatever you want to call them, that I had been building in the background, and I didn’t even know it. So thank you.”
Do you think some of those pieces of advice were better than others?
Do we have beliefs that being joyful is better than being angry?
Or is it possible that from a certain perspective, all emotions are equally valid, equally expansive. Just like all pieces of advice are equally valid.
Each of those examples that we just gave is a slightly different frequency.
Maybe what we’re all awakening to, is not new ways to judge those different frequencies, but an expanded understanding of ourselves and our own preference and our desires.
That’s how you navigate infinite choice. Not by judging half of it to be insufficient and then struggling to achieve or earn the other half.
Rather, you look at all of it as full of infinite potential because you look at yourself that way.
And oh, my friends, you are full of infinite potential.
Unsponsored shoutout to Music from Artlist:
Show Intro: Floating Point by Roie Shpigler
Chorus Transition In: At Peace by Roman
Chorus Transition Out: Incandescent with Passion by CK Martin
Outro: Passion by Veaceslav Draganov
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