The Chorus delves into the the power of Preference, describing that this is what Humanity is Awakening to as we expand back into a multitude of perspectives. Katie explores the experience of preference - including the difficulty in sometimes even sensing it - and the life-giving power which it represents. Ultimately, when we are able to release the beliefs which hold us away from our preference and embrace it, we are moving towards a more conscious connection with the infinite energy of Creation, which we might even call ever-lasting life.
Okay, I’m gonna say something right off the bat. And I know you’re like, “Katie, wait, I just turned this on. I’m still getting settled.” I know, I know, but we’re just gonna jump in today. Whatever you’re doing, it’ll soak in. I just still feel it.
Okay. Confidence comes from following your preference. Got it? I’m gonna say it one more time. Confidence comes from following your preference.
Isn’t that amazing? It’s taken me months to get to this. Did you already know this? Someone should have called me. I have been grappling with this question of where does confidence come from? I’ve read two or three books on it recently. I’ve been looking on the internet.
I’ve just felt like last season was all about self-acceptance and I came out of the closet and that was really helpful. But then there’s like a next level, right? There’s like a, here I am, I’m in the room, I’m at the party, right? And I’m sort of like hanging out on the sides along the wall. And then there’s that next level, which is like, can walk right up to people shake their hands and smile and say I’m so and so.
And I’ve had different experiences of both, but I would say on the whole energetically, I was still kind of observing from the side of the room until these recent weeks. And in recent weeks, as this question, you know, plagued me all through the spring. And then now I’ve been thrown into some more of these situations and scenarios where I’ve, you know, just been even more conscious of this idea of confidence.
And do you want to hear the weirdest experience, but you won’t think it’s weird at all, that happened recently? We went to a convention, I guess of sorts, that all of us wanted to go to in my family. It was like a kid’s event, so to speak. Oh my God, I’m just gonna say it.
Okay, I try to make it general so it’s not just like specific and people don’t have a reaction to my exact example, you know, cause you wanna be like, it’s not about the details at times, but then you know what? I think when we are more confident, we share more of the details. And do you know what’s funny about that? I think when we share details with each other, it’s easier to connect.
And you want to know what’s funny about that? We have a lot of beliefs that have prevented us from having those sorts of deep connections with others and with ourselves. Part of the experience of the unknown and the mystery and the finiteness and insufficiency that we came here for. I’m just gonna say this. There are a lot of details that have been hidden from each other, from ourselves… so much. We have been living a summary statement, a super averaged, baselined, watered down summary of the universe.
Okay, but back to the point. We went to a Comic Con convention. My son really wanted to go. My husband and I really wanted to go. And as much as I love Comic Con and all these sorts of crazy imaginative hobbies that people have. I’m always amazed. I’m just like blown away by the number of characters and costumes and creations. It’s just, it’s amazing. So we go and you know, we don’t really have costumes or I don’t have a costume.
So I show up in, I mean, okay, this is what the shame thoughts in my head said that I showed up looking like a suburban housewife. And I was like, all these Comic-Con people are gonna be like, you don’t belong here, kinda, okay. These are the shame thoughts that I have, which is ironic because I know people who run those conventions and who have booths there and whatever, and I know that they had to come through all sorts of thoughts of shame to be able to embrace what it was that was their interest and to go out and make a community, meet a community about that thing.
So here I am having shame thoughts on the way to the comic convention about not being edgy enough or fringe enough or I don’t know, I don’t have a word for that. Just showed up in my old Navy dress and flip-flops. And as we’re walking around the comic convention, I sort of start to feel this connection with that I really did want to be there. And I was pretty excited to be there and I was just having such a good time. And I started to feel confident.
Now after so many months of consciously realizing when that sensation was absent, it really baffled me that I had overcome shame of not being comic con enough to go to comic con. But once there, I had such a good time. And that experience made me feel more confident.
There is magic in preference, pure magic. Each time we risk things that we are potentially certain we will be ashamed of or ashamed for having done in order to move towards the things that we prefer, we find on the other side a confidence, a strength that perhaps is the most sacred energy of all.
In the first part of the episode, you’ll hear directly from the chorus and then afterwards we will discuss.
Enjoy!
[Starts at 7:52]
There is a human saying that we like very much. It is something to the effect of seek and ye shall find. This phrase may not be as popular today as it once was but from our vantage point, it still holds true in your belief systems.
If you could summarize your kind today, whether you originated from another point in the galaxies or from here – as we could say, what would you say that you all are seeking?
A perfectly valid answer would be perhaps the meaning of life, as a human often says. All the whys to your existence. Why are you here? Why do you exist the way that you do? Why do you feel compelled to follow certain paths and not others?
There are many answers, as many answers as there are perspectives in creation. Here humanity has been a little short on answers. Though you conjecture and discuss, often the answers that you are able to give each other are essentially different versions of your belief systems speaking back to you again.
Outside of your beautiful, incredible experience of limitation, there are many answers. So what might you be seeking then? If it were not hard to stumble across an answer in any direction that you chose, perhaps then you might have a question as to which answer you prefer.
What is this beautiful sense of preference that you have, that you recognize even here in such an experience of limitation? What does it represent? As we have described before, your preference is your own sense of your path of greatest expansion.
There was much in your existences here that denied your own sense of preference. Though at times you may have been able to become conscious of it, there were ample beliefs in your belief system complex that would tell you that that was not worth looking at. That it was impossible to be achieved even before you had made an attempt, that it would cost too greatly, that it would be too hard, that it wasn’t deserved, and many other beliefs that you are still unconscious of.
Today, your sense of preference is coming through to you even more clearly than you have any conscious memory of having felt before. You cannot deny its existence as easily as you could before. You cannot ignore its suggestions as consistently as you could before. And though at times it may feel torturous, ultimately what you are coming back to again and again and again is an acceptance of the fact that that is what you prefer. It is a part of you inside of you that speaks clearly and truly, and that ultimately your life is enriched by choosing to follow it.
Beloved ones, there will be no shortage of perspectives on everything that is and has happened here. You are not expanding into a selection of the right perspective. You are expanding into the multitude. And as you navigate more of the infinite, it is this choice of preference, it is this path of preference that will be utilized by you to navigate all the many frequencies and many beings which exist.
And what of the ones who prefer something opposite to you? What about when paths of preference collide? Here, we must point out a linear aspect of this question. It assumes a path of a straight line. It assumes a path of a line that perhaps may curve, but one that moves in a similar direction through all things. This is not an invalid perspective, but it does call to mind examples and experiences when those things may be bottlenecked, tangled up, twisted around or blockaded.
What if, therefore, your path of preference is not a line that extends from you? What if it’s not even a sphere in all directions? What if your path of preference is something that you create every time, every moment in which you exist? What if it is constantly being molded and formed by your unique frequency and your unbreakable connection to creation?
There is no predestination by this view, and you are not obligated to run into anyone else’s path. All solutions, all options in all the infinite universe are accessible by you in every single moment. And as creation expands through us all you then are constantly free in every moment to create and step into a space that is all yours and has never existed before.
We love you infinitely.
[Starts at 16:33]
Into your own space. They’re really laying it on thick today. They know I’m house hunting. They’re kind of funny that way. Sometimes when they send over messages, there’s actually three or four meanings – sometimes more, honestly – in a single phrase that they say. Meaning there’s maybe four or five or however many different ways I could look at the words that were said.
They’ve often joked about how limited our squeaks and whistles are – that is, our spoken language. And I just looked it up, because I used to know these stats off the back of my hand, actually, from when I used to do analysis on these things, but how many words would you say are in the English language?
I mean, it feels like a lot, I guess. But how many words would you say we use in a day or in the course of a lifetime? Well, according to somewhere on the internet, or a few places on the internet, there’s more than a million total words in the English language, about 170,000 words in current use, and 20 to 30,000 words that are used by an individual.
So basically we talk about on this show the infinite universe of infinite wavelengths and we try and do all that with basically my 20 to 30,000 words. Kind of get why it’s so funny to them, don’t you?
I have hit the end of so many runways lately with these concepts – just out of room. There’s too many beings, too many aspects of our history. I mean, it doesn’t fit on a line, that’s for sure. I have no idea how to explain any of this in terms of a history that just plods along in a single line.
It’s so much more complicated and connected and there are so many different players and phases and changes, honestly. I really used to think that by the time it got to this – by the time the chorus was ready for me to share this or I was ready to share it, that we would be to the point of telepathic communication. It felt so close. It felt so possible that I never anticipated talking this much or even having to write very much. I just thought, oh great, we’re here. We’ve arrived and when everyone else is ready for this, they’ll just start to receive it telepathically too.
But, that’s not the point, is it? We are awakening from this point of limitation, meaning we are expanding from it, meaning there will continue to be manifestations to match. As we go forward in energy, we will bring down that energy to these wavelengths by virtue of our continued connection to these wavelengths – our continued resonance here.
We are expanding to take in more perspectives. We’re not hopping off of this one as we have often discussed. And so yes, telepathic communication is well on its way and also all the rest of this will start to expand.
Today The Chorus brought up our path of preference, which relates to our paths of greatest expansion, which they introduced in the first season of the podcast and the first book. In fact, in the first book, there’s a diagram on an X, Y axis showing sort of the different dimensions of frequencies with which we resonate and how sort of the path of greatest expansion cuts across all of it – cuts across all of creation no matter where you’re resonating.
Today, The Chorus has expanded on this concept by giving us a new sort of visualization by which to understand it, where they said, “Okay, well, it’s a path, but it’s not a path that goes in a straight line or even a curving line or even a line at all, and it may not even be a circular line emanating from you – although both of these are valid ways of understanding things.”
They gave us a third way to understand this, which is that our path of greatest expansion unfolds from us in every present moment by way of our continued existence and connection with the energy of creation. This would mean that in each moment you get a preference, you have just received an expansion from creation itself. Or said another way, you have just expanded by way of your connection to creation.
This is a fascinating concept to sit with – as we have touched on previously, because it would be easy to overlook. And yet we know now that our desires are indications from the universe. They are an indication of a path forward – of a way of expanding.
And the chorus lightens this up even further and says, “Well, it doesn’t even have to be as visceral as a desire.” It could simply be a preference – which means when someone asks you later where you wanna go for dinner, and they might even give you two options, like Mexican or Thai food, and you feel a slight preference for one over the other… that subtle – to a human – sensation is nothing less than your path of greatest expansion unfolding before your very eyes.
This could almost seem laughable to humans, that a simple preference of a restaurant choice is the equivalent of the world-bending, time-creating, dimension-generating forces of creation that we all somehow have access to beyond this game. Yep. It’s all summed up in your preference for an egg roll or a burrito.
Now maybe we could get on okay ground with this, but as The Chorus pointed out, all of our beliefs are really what has changed the tone or the volume of this sense of preference in our reality. There are so many beliefs – subconscious and conscious – that sort of redirect us away from the things that we prefer, often so quickly that we’re not even aware that there was a thing that we preferred.
I used to think I was really clear about the things I preferred – or at least desired. But the older I’ve gotten, and as The Chorus would say, the more I have been birthed into our beliefs of limitation, the less certain I am that I know what I want or prefer in any given moment.
If you think you’re really clear on what you want, what you prefer – those inspired sensations you can try hanging out with a child for any period of time. Children often do not hesitate to express the things that they want and prefer and want next – oftentimes with such speed as to exhaust the grownups that are around them, who constantly feel like they either have to say no or give up and give the child what he or she wants in order to manage or deal with the energy of those non-stop requests.
For many grown-ups, being around a demanding, as we say, child is often exhausting. You can almost watch the energy levels of guardians or grandparents or parents start to sink after a full day of being bombarded by a child’s non-stop requests and needs.
Now what’s interesting about this is that we know from the law of attraction and some other teachers of enlightened perspectives that it is actually our desires and our zest for life and what we want next and what we are creating that are actually life-giving. It is that connection to our perspective, to our source, we could say – to creation, as The Chorus might say that actually invigorates our desire to continue here in a way.
As we plunge ourselves further and further into this experience of limitation and ultimately get less and less and less of what we want, so too does our energy and our stamina and our endurance for this reality dwindle.
I remember reading, as a kid, where the main characters lived forever. Now some of these stories had to do with myths – ancient legends of beings that were construed to be immortal, that is just kept going on and on forever, so to speak. Then I also remember being given a book in elementary school about a family that accidentally ingested something that caused them to live forever. And ultimately that story was a tragedy because the family just simply had to stand by and watch as all the people that they were related to or had known grew old and died.
It was sort of one of those cautionary tales of be careful what you wish for, you might not want to live forever – handed out to children who are sort of still the embodiment of that zesty, infinite connection to creation who might actually think it would be great to live for forever.
I remember being really conflicted as I read the book and I was probably in about the third grade – maybe the fourth grade – that I understood what the characters in the story were experiencing, but I had a hard time believing that was it. I mean, surely there were other things that they realized that they could go do or explore once you understood that you just couldn’t die.
The theme of this season, and of the forthcoming book, is about time. And perhaps one of the greatest aspects of our experience of linear time is our steady progression from birth to death.
We have spoken a little bit about sort of that entry point, that birth point, and we’ll continue to talk about the aspects of how we enter into this reality and the choices that some have made to incarnate here. Today I’d like to talk a little bit more about the exit point, the dying.
For most humans in this reality, the experience of death is the culmination of our beliefs of limitation – that we are so limited as to not be able to continue here any longer despite what we desire.
The dying process often comes in ways that are an embodiment of our beliefs and lack of control. Whether it be a sudden transition into other frequencies or a gradual one, they are often plagued by, or characterized by, events or circumstances that would not otherwise be wished for by our view. Who wants to get sick? Who wants to get frail? Who wants to have an accident? All of these things that are pretty much essential to transitioning to other frequencies are often at the top of the list for human kind of being unwanted.
There are a handful of stories that we perhaps have currently in the conscious collective of our group consensus, about ascended masters or ancients who seem to have gone into a meditative type of space and then have transitioned over. However, these stories are few and far between and seem practically unreachable to the common person.
So the dying process seems to be sort of the crescendo of an experience of limitation which all piles into sort of our final moments of our lifetime – regardless of the way in which we exit the game. It is often tied into all of these aspects of limitation embodied in our transition from life into death. But what happens when we transition? What happens after we die?
As we are all well aware, our perspective of this process ends the minute the person has completely transitioned. We don’t often get to see where they go or what they do next or what happens. It is the Great Wall, you could say – the veil, as others have said, between our existence here in this game and everything else in creation.
In fact, by some views it wasn’t until recently that we even had a concept at all that those souls continued on. There have been many cultures that we have created and embodied here that have thought that there was nothing but a void beyond the experience of death as we spoke about in season one of the podcast.
There are many other cultures that we have created which told tales and legends of a very similar Earth-like experience after the experience of death in which you continue to sort of fight for your survival – for your soul’s survival as it were. In fact, many cultures believed that you might even need the same tools that you need here, such as weapons or food or other devices with which you could battle whatever lies ahead of you in the afterlife.
And today, well, thanks to the experiences of those who have seemingly passed on and come back again – as well as the teachings of different religions around the world, there is an alternate concept of the afterlife in which it is better than what we’ve got going on here. Full of more love, full of more light, full of more freedom.
So are all of these interpretations of what actually happens when we die? Is one of these versions more accurate than another? Or could they all be true? And what on Earth does this have to do with our preference?
I remember the first time I came across stories that the afterlife was sort of like a more dungeony version of Earth-based life. Frankly, I was horrified. I believe I was reading a book by Graham Hancock in which he was retelling sort of the afterlife lore of Egyptians and some ancient peoples of the Americas in which they prepared for sometimes many years in life for the afterlife – that they believed so strongly in these monsters that they would encounter once they died that they spent much of their living life practicing fighting these monsters – navigating these labyrinths in order to protect, you could say, their souls and achieve, well, I don’t know what.
I suppose ultimately they thought they got through the labyrinth and somehow got to a better place or maybe just continued to survive endlessly. It depends on the story and depends on the culture. But I remember being kind of horrified – horrified that there was so much in their beliefs about the afterlife that engendered fear in this life – that all those precious experiences of the present moment were subsumed by an entire civilization’s attempts to prepare for the horrors of the afterlife.
I mourned the sunny days and the blue skies that those people must have missed while they were living here, engrossed in their thinking and their preparations for what was to come next. And I wondered how they had first started to believe in those things at all.
Now, I’d like to segue for a second from these most interesting questions and topics that The Chorus is bringing up today, to talk about my flip-flops. I have a favorite pair of black flip-flops. I got them as a gift when I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding about 200 years ago.
Well see I can’t joke like that with you all because you know many of you are now in touch with past lives. And so okay, so it was like a decade ago. And they’ve gone with me everywhere and they’re really starting to peel apart, but they’re still my favorite flip-flops.
So I wear these flip-flops just about everywhere I go and including down to the beach, which is near where we’re staying. And usually I bring a towel and I bring some things that I can set down – not because I actually need a towel, but because then I can tuck my favorite flip-flops under the towel where no one will bother them or take them. And then I can find them again by looking for the brightly colored towel.
On a recent walk just a few mornings ago as I was getting ready to go to the beach and I put on my flip-flops, a thought occurred to me. Why have I been bringing the towel and everything else just to hide my flip-flops? It suddenly seemed a little silly. So I thought, okay, well, I’ll just wear the flip-flops down to the beach and then when I’m ready to walk barefoot, I’ll just carry the flip-flops.
So I head out to the beach and as I’m getting closer and closer to the parking lot that I cross and I walk down a sandy pathway kind of in between these palm trees and this area of vegetation that’s protected. As I approach that area, I start to wonder, well, why do I have to carry my flip-flops? Maybe I could just hide them in the bushes along this path.
Now, as I’m contemplating this, as you can imagine, all sorts of beliefs are coming up, raising questions. Would you be able to find them again? Would there be a critter that would take a bite out of them? Would somebody see them and think that they were trash because they are a little beat up. And then an equal turn, I wondered if someone would see them and take them because they would like them as much as I like them.
Now, this whole time in the background, I have recognized there was something silly about hiding my flip-flops under the towels, right? And then it became a little more clear, like that’s probably not necessary. Okay, and then it’s started to speed up, so as I’m walking to the beach and I’m contemplating other things, these questions arise again – that again, start to feel a little bit silly.
And so as I’m nearing the beach, there’s a few posts in the ground with like rope strung between them to sort of demarcate where you stay on the path and protect the vegetation, and there was these sea grasses sort of growing up around the post. So I say to myself, as if really summoning the courage for something very unknown, I’m just gonna tuck my flip-flops behind this post.
So I am aware as I’m doing it that this whole thing is all a little bit silly and at same time I am deeply in touch with a part of me that is very afraid that this is the last time I will ever see those flip-flops ever again. So I tuck them behind the posts and I continue out onto the sand.
Now as happens after you reach and move through a point of fear – an event perhaps, an action that you have long felt afraid of facing, when you get to the other side of that, you often feel sort of a lightness of being – sort of like a, wow, I did it. Oh, wow, like I wonder what I was afraid of for so long. So as I’m walking down the beach, I feel that upliftedness, I feel that freedom – as though an anchor has just been dropped off next to the flip-flops, and I continue on my way.
And as I’m doing so, I muse about how, if someone came to visit me, months from now, and if I took them on the same walk down to the beach and then on the same pathway through the protected vegetation, I would probably feel comfortable saying to them, oh, I always tuck my flip-flops right here behind this post. Nobody ever bothers them. And that person might say, how do you know? And I would say, well, I started doing it several months ago, and in all that time, no one has disturbed my flip-flops.
I found this thought quite funny as I was walking along the beach because we all know from a probability standpoint, the probability that anyone might take my flip-flops is really refreshed every day. Every day has a fresh set of circumstances that would probably, on the average, work out to an equal probability – an equal chance every day, that some stranger might catch a glimpse of my flip-flops and either toss them in the trash thinking that they’re trash in the protected vegetation, or just slipping them on their feet – as part of me was still afraid might happen.
So I waited… sort of, I set it to the side – that thought to the side of my walk, and I went on my walk, and I had a great conversation with The Chorus, and I saw all sorts of interesting things, and I had a really good time, and I forgot about this whole experience of the flip-flops.
I stopped thinking about it until I start to return. I turn back around and I walk back down the beach – still having a good time, still looking everywhere, found a bee on my shirt. And I get back to the edge of the trail and it’s like it hits me again. Oh yeah – my flip-flops.
And then there’s sort of a renewed fear a little bit – almost to the point that it was before I chose to hide the flip-flops, but not quite as much. And I walked back up to the post, peek around, did not peek far enough, thought my flip-flops were missing, had a minor heart attack, kept looking around the other side of the post and found them in the grass.
So even though they were still there, had a small panic attack because I didn’t quite see them at the first instance. Picked up my flip flops, walked back down the sandy path, put them back on and came home.
I’m sure many of you can relate to the experience that I just retold. This is a very human experience – that we have things that we hold onto very deeply, perhaps even very strenuously. There are things in our lives or in our hearts that we recognize, on some level, we can’t live without.
But if we turn our attention to the question of, why do we feel that way, there is a response within us that often feels a lot like fear or terror. We can’t even contemplate why we feel that way. We can’t even go near it. It’s so sensitive. It’s so tender within us.
One of the more amazing aspects that we’re coming to in this day and age – as more of our choices proliferate, as more of our self-expressions proliferate, as more of our ideas vary and grow – is that we don’t all hold the same things in these tender ways. For those of you out there who own an old pair of flip-flops, I can guarantee that some of you don’t feel the same way that I do about mine.
But that you may have something else in your garage, or in your closet, or in your desk drawers. And you could give me ample reasons as to why that object is so precious to you and that that same object might not feel as precious to anyone else.
We do this also in terms of our relationships – intangible things that are unseen. We have rituals, we have people, we have duties or obligations that we hold onto in these deep ways that another person looking at our situation may be completely baffled as to why we still do that thing or we still tolerate that situation.
But as some of us are starting to recognize as you awaken, there are periods of time where we don’t even know we were holding onto it that hard. These beliefs are ancient and largely still unconscious to the vast majority of our group consensus. They sometimes overlap with the locks of shame. We may hold on to something so dearly – we tell ourselves – because we would be ashamed were anybody to find out, or were we to be looked at differently for having dropped the ball, or changed that, or chosen something else instead.
However, some of these deeply held things are so unconscious to us that we are unable to even recognize their presence or contemplate what we would do differently that don’t even spark within us any shame because we cannot even see what life would be like without them.
As we draw closer to the possibility of change, this is when we start to go through a conscious process of grappling with the thing we have held onto and the possibility of an experience of life without it.
I may be putting it lightly with my example of my flip-flops, but it’s easy to connect to because in that vein we are less worried about the situation I am talking about because at the end of the day it’s just my flip-flops. But we understand the emotions. We understand the energetic things that I’m going through in that situation.
Now, you could ask, had I lost the flip-flops, might I have felt ashamed? This is an interesting question – and one that is actually time-based. As the course has pointed out, the linear timeline concept is often required for our experience of shame. Shame is the application of judgment to an action or experience after its passing – after its manifestation.
It is not often in the moment of the choice itself that we are feeling shame; it is usually right afterwards or even some time afterwards where we judge whether or not that should have happened.
Now, this is slightly different than feeling self-conscious or feeling uncomfortable in the moment that an action is transpiring. Those sensations energetically spring from different areas in our belief systems, and also the manifestations that reflect those sensations too. Shame has more of a sense to it of… you have been deemed unworthy. As opposed to not feeling okay in yourself or not feeling aligned, shame is a pressing down. Shame is a, you need to put that back in the closet or hide that thing or, basically a feeling of heaviness – that there is some part of you now in deed, or in physical characteristic, that because of your connection to it, you are considered less than.
Now if we continue to use the flip-flops as an example, when I was imagining how I would feel if those flip-flops were lost, I recognized that I would be sad, I recognized that I would be maybe disappointed that I had made that choice. But the many times that I contemplated it, I was unaware that there was a judgment in place, of me and myself, should those flip-flops be lost. Somewhere in there, unconsciously, I would have felt that I had been irresponsible – that if I came home and told my family I lost my favorite flip-flops, and they said, how did that happen, and I said, well, I just left them on the beach while I went for a walk, that my family might even laugh as sort of, well, what did you think would happen?
In a way, through this imagining, I would feel shame – even when I was unconscious to the fact that this is actually what I was imagining. As I moved forward and approaching sort of this silliness of like, huh, why was I so worried about that, or why was that such a big deal, or why was I so certain someone would steal my very old flip flops, I came to a more conscious sense of, yeah, it would be a bummer to lose them, but it could also be okay.
The thoughts that would have told me I should be ashamed if I lost my favorite pair of flip-flops softened. It seemed like something I could overcome. The imaginings changed. My family would then empathize with me and say, wow, I can’t believe somebody took those, as opposed to, it’s all your fault, you dumbass. The blame lightened in my head as I progressed in reaching the possibility that maybe this could be okay – this thing that I actually wanted, which was to not have to worry about the flip-flops, to not have to carry them or maybe even hide them.
Now, as we progress in our linear timeline, there came a point in time where I put the flip-flops behind the post. And then I went on my walk. If we were still dealing in hypothetical scenarios, when would the flip-flops go missing? Likely, sometime when I was on my walk away from the flip-flops. Do you think I would have felt bad in the moment the flip-flops disappeared? Probably not. I was enjoying my walk, I was looking at all the sea creatures and birds and the bee on my shirt. I would have had potentially no idea that the flip-flops were even, in that moment, going missing.
When I returned to the post and found that the flip-flops were gone, that is the moment at which shame would normally appear for a human, because seeing the result of the action and judging myself to have been deficient in making the choice that led to that event, would result in my feelings of shame. I’m sad my flip-flops got stolen and I never should have left them behind the post. Shame on me.
The Chorus is challenging this entire scenario today. And by challenge, I mean they’re pointing out a different way of looking at this entire process. Not just in a scenario where we’re hiding our flip-flops behind a post, but at the meta-scale – at the lifetime scale. Because in a scenario as simple as the one I’m proposing, the question can become quite clear.
Which is accurate, in this scenario, my preference to not have to carry my flip-flops anymore, or the shame that would result if my flip-flops were actually stolen? We face this crossroads all the time, don’t we? Which wins out – my preference to order a pastry at the coffee shop, or my shame in having eaten another thing, yet again, that I shouldn’t have? Which wins out – your preference to not do that work tonight, or the shame of having to tell your coworkers the next day that you didn’t get it done.
All over the game board, there is a juxtaposition between the preferences, the desires that we have, and either the imaginings about how that would go down if we did it, and the visions of shameful responses that we would have, or also in some cases, choosing to go after something we want and experiencing a shameful response from within us after the fact.
Now most humans would say somebody else made me feel ashamed. And this is completely possible. But the majority of the time we actually color our view of the rest of the world through the lens of shame and are unable to hear anything other than someone else’s remark which might reflect those shameful vibrations – meaning several people could tell you that they totally understand why you didn’t get that job done last night like you said you would, but what you might hear in their tone is that they actually wish you did. Is it real? Or is it your shame?
Somebody told me once that we teach other people how to treat us. It’s a quote that I’ve grappled with for years. I recognize energetically that when I show up and I am totally confident and accepting of who I am, people respond to me very differently.
Recently, I had sort of an awkward encounter. I was trying to make new friends in my new town and I was describing sort of what I do as a channel – not well, and totally awkwardly, and I noticed that their response was very similar. It was hard to recognize because I knew what was happening as I did it, but also I was having a really hard time not being awkward.
I asked The Chorus about it later and they said, something to the effect of, being at ease with where you are makes it easier for them to be at ease where they are. I liked this slight spin on the idea – which was that it wasn’t about their view of me, it was that all of us were finding a place of ease with ourselves.
As often happens with The Chorus, this slight shift in perspective returned a lot of power to me. I wasn’t there to impress somebody else, in fact, didn’t even matter if I did. What they were resonating with was a sense of self-acceptance or not –meaning, as usual, it all comes back to what we’re doing. But it felt more in control. It felt less judgy. It just felt like maybe I could go easier on myself.
Over the next several weeks, I had many moments of feeling or recognizing something about myself that I started to feel ashamed of, only, the shame seemed more obvious now – that distance of time, between when I had done something and then thought about how it went, seemed really obvious to me these things were different.
In the moment that I was awkward with those other individuals that I was meeting, I sort of felt, well, fine. I don’t think I had a recognition that I was being awkward until after the fact when their response was something that took me by surprise. That’s truly when the sensations of shame began.
Whether the delay between the action and the judgment of it and the feeling of shame was in my head and I was imagining scenarios or whether I was living them out in real time, the shame became more and more obvious as something that came after the fact.
This drew my attention even more to what the action had actually been right before the shame arrived. And what I found was something very interesting. Almost inevitably, the things that caused me the most shame were the actions I had taken where I had really followed my path of preference, you could say. Or said another way, where I had really shown myself – where I had really exposed how I really felt.
I don’t mean this in an angry kind of way. I mean this in a childlike kind of way, where I was just genuinely happy, or admitted that I didn’t know something, or just wanted to leave my flip-flops on the sand and run off into the ocean.
It was these moments of total allowance and maybe even of taking a risk in trusting that allowance that often sparked within me the deepest sensations of shame. Some of my greatest moments of freedom of, I’m just gonna order that ice cream, or I’m just gonna walk over there and introduce myself, or I think I’ll just go down there and do that right now.
These sensations of choice and of maybe it could all work out, often had a correlation after the fact of an increase in scrutiny, in analysis, in judgment. I would start to obsess over those situations and scrutinize whether or not I thought that had gone well, whether or not I really should have done that, whether or not I’d done too much of that lately or not enough, or if that was risky or if someone else noticed.
The amount of judgments that would arise in the time period after those moments of freedom were practically staggering. Who knew ordering an extra scoop of ice cream could be so risqué until my brain freaked out about it after the fact? Suddenly I was thrown into an endless churning of calculating how much I had been off my protocol or where else I had strayed recently.
And you know what the most incredible thing is? I’ve gotten two scoops of ice cream before. Do you know what the most incredible thing is? I have left flip-flops on the beach before. These actions are not unique – which begs the question, if it’s not actually about the action per se, what the heck is going on?
There’s a difference, isn’t there, between, sure, I’ll get a second scoop of ice cream and, I would love a second scoop of ice cream. There’s a difference, isn’t there, between introducing yourself to a room full of people because that’s what everyone’s doing and that’s what happening, and a sensation of uplift where you say, I’m just gonna do it, I’m just gonna walk over there and introduce myself. Our sensations of preference feel like this little dose of freedom. These subtle sensations of, it could all work out and I’m gonna try it.
Preference, in The Chorus’s view, is this energetic connection to the life-giving force of creation. And it is this life-giving force that we denied ourselves access to in the creation of this reality. If you live in an existence where every time you follow your preference, a wave of judgment and analysis and sensations of shame overcome us, how often would we be compelled to follow that sense of preference?
And even before that, where there were so many beliefs that we were directly overlapping with that prevented us from even understanding that there was a sensation inside of us that would make these choices feel different between different days and different times – that having a second scoop of ice cream one day might feel very differently than another day when it is aligned to our preference.
Do you know what everlasting life looks like? A string, an existence, a wave of endless preference, of desires, of the life-giving energy of creation in which there’s always a next thing that we want, there’s always a next thing we’re excited for. It is those sensations that represent an energy, and that energy represents life.
Here in this game, we focus a lot on the arrival of this thing on these very specific wavelengths before we give ourselves permission to feel our preference. In our turn it all around and upside down kind of human way, it is when we see the ice cream that maybe we allow ourselves to feel our preference for the second scoop. It is when we see the sports car, maybe that we acknowledge that we have always wanted one of those – no matter how many people are gonna say that we’re spoiled or too rich.
And what we’re coming to today is a sense of preference that rises above even all of those manifestations that we might just be washing dishes or commuting or doing nothing at all, and we’ll get a sense of lift, of excitement, of it’s all happening. Sometimes I feel it so strongly, I don’t know what to do with myself. Sometimes I feel it so strongly I can’t sleep. Sometimes we all feel it so strongly, when our beliefs are quiet at night, that it wakes us from sleep and carries us right back into this present moment.
My dear friends, on the other side of the veil of death are a great number of other frequencies and existences. And you could say that almost every single one of them is a little more in touch and a little more resonant with the life-giving force of creation which we perceive as preference. Were we to have been able to see beyond the veil, our experience of limitation would have been entirely disrupted.
The story of our changing perspectives on life after death is actually our story of our growing awakening and our expansion to connect to other frequencies where these things are possible – meaning where there could be an existence of everlasting love and of everlasting life.
At first, it was a void because we could not even perceive of a possibility of anything other than our own existence – could not even imagine anything beyond our existence. And then, it became not unlike our existences here, as we began to imagine and at times even encounter other beings from other frequencies who represented back to us our fear of these things – which was the limitations of our own beliefs in that moment.
And today, humanity is practically on the cusp of re-resonating or resonating with a place where we are more able to perceive our own direct connection to source. And one of the ways that that comes through to us is by our sense of desire and in even a lighter way, our sense of preference.
We know that there are things that we want, and we know that there are things that we prefer. And we still at times get really pissed off that it doesn’t happen as quickly as we’d like, but we still have that sensation. We know that sensation. So much so that many of the locks of shame are breaking apart.
Seems a little silly to have worried so much about what other people thought. Seems a little silly to worry about if that’s gonna go well or not. Hmm, where did all those beliefs come from? Why did we think those things? Maybe it really is so simple. Maybe we can all just put down our flip flops and go.
What’s on the other side of the fear of losing our shoes? Is it shame and regret and remorse for the loss of those shoes and needing to buy new ones again? Or could it be something even bigger and brighter – something that calls us forward to our next level of preference? Perhaps an existence where we don’t even need shoes at all.
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